Drunken Masters
by Doorman361
Summary: Po and the Furious Five get drunk. Written for anon.
1. Chapter 1

"Crane."

"Crane."

"Cranennenennenene."

"What?"

"Watch this." The snake away from the birds face and began to shake her lower half. Crane looked on, confused and drunker than he had ever been in his life. They had just gotten back from defeating Lord Shen and Master Shifu had allowed them to have a few drinks for night and some bar. Something that Po and the five were regretting dearly. Because none of them drink often and due to the strength beverages being served most of the five were busy trying to stay away striking up random and sometimes lewd conversations.

"What did you think?" Viper asked as she let her head fall onto the bar counter and poured herself another drink. "What did you do?" The bird squinted his eyes and allowed his head to fall, facing the bird Viper let out a sly smile, "We are so drunk right now aren't we?" Viper asked.

"No you're the drunk one I'm fine." Crane as he tried to shake his head no.

"Bullshit." Viper exclaimed as she rested her head on the birds beak.

"Vip…" The avian choked as he felt her sliding into his mouth.

"Crane pretend I'm spaghetti!" Viper yelled as she shoved half her body into the birds throat. Crane gave her tail a yank and threw her back into the bar stool.

"Come on, follow me." Viper said as she downed her shot and grabbed the bottle, the drunk bird soon followed her into the night.

Meanwhile in one of the bars corners…

"Tigressh com on." The fat Panda slurred.

"You know I find it strange that the largest among us can't hold his liquor."

"Com on, we-we-we're just two friends who do kung fu stuff together, who cares if we bang occasionally?" Po retorted not even paying attention to what his striped friend had said.

"Can you even see your penis?"

"Can you even see your tits?"

"Fatass"

"Pancake boobs."

Tigress sighed, "Do you still have the midnight stranger costume?".

"Yes."

Tigress's eyes shifted the room. "Meet me in my room in 15 minutes."

Meanwhiler on the opposite end…

"I mean just because we kissed each other doesn't mean we're gay right?" Mantis asked in a panic. "No," Monkey replied, "It means we're just really good friends.". "Yeah, If anyones gay its Crane." Mantis felt his spirits rise, "Planning weddings and shit, he's probably going to go do make overs with Viper." Monkey nodded his head "I agree, I love women. My favorite thing would have to be their vaginas and stuff." Mantis jumped on the table, "YEAH VAGINAS RULE!." Fellow patrons gave the two sickened glaces before returning to their drinks.

"So…" Monkey scratched his head. "You wanna head over to that new gay bar across the street?"

"Yeah but only to make fun of those gays."

"Yeah yeah ofcourse."

"I mean maybe we could dance abit." Mantis said hopping off the table and moving over to the bar exit.

"It would be rude not to."

Meanwhilerer in Vipers bedroom.

"So what is this exactly?" Crane asked as he noticed the snake pulling out a few cut up limes and a small amount of salt.

"Body shots, you put the lime in your mouth and let me lick salt off of you then you go" Viper explained. Crane rolled his eyes and laid down on Viper's small cot. "Just relax it will be fun.". The snake took a pinch of salt and rested it on the base of his neck. "Ok is it salt shot lime or shot salt lime?" Viper pondered for a few moments. "Fuck it." Viper buried her head into his feathers, soaking the birds neck in her saliva, after a flicks and swirls of her tongue the snake finished up with a shot. "Crap I forgot about the lime." Viper cursed herself as she picked up a lime piece. "Here put this on your tongue." Crane followed through, placing the lime on the back of his tongue.

"Oh playing hard to get are we?" Viper giggled as she came face the face with the avian.

"Well you know…" Crane was unable to speak as the snake unhinged her jaws and engulfed the birds tongue almost suffocating him in the process. After a few seconds of what had to be the strangest feeling in his life Viper retracted, Crane noticed the lime and what had to be a long of his saliva dripping off the snakes chin. . "See fun." she smiled.

"Ok lets never do that again." Crane shuttered.

"Oh come on it's your turn."

"Fine where do you want me to put it?"

"You don't tell me you just do it."

"I want to get to sleep, the sooner I do this the sooner I can fall asleep."

Viper thought for a few seconds before motioning the bird to get up. "How about my belly button?"

"Snakes have belly buttons?"

"Yeah its a little slits you'll know it when you see it." Viper napped a piece of fruit and rested her back on the cot.

Crane sighed and took a pinch of salt, Slit slit slit show me the slit, ahah there it is. Crane quickly rubbed in the salt in and got to work inserting the tip of his narrow tongue into the hole, Its a bit deeper than I thought it would be. Crane thought as he heard a moan coming from Viper.

"Crane thats not my belly button."


	2. Shipping Poll Redone

I made a KFP Pairing poll, I hope you take the 3 seconds to vote.

strawpoll

.me

/993275/

I always wanted to see what the fans liked.

EDIT: THIS IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT POLL.


End file.
